Easy vs. Right.

March 25, 2014

There comes a time when you have to decide if you are going to do what is easy or what is right.  Rarely the right thing is the easy thing.  For my life as of late, they are nowhere near each other.

***

Did I  want to move from my centrally located suburb to a small, conservative, rural community 50 minutes northeast? Not really.  Did I do it anyway?  Yes.  Is it what is best for my little family right now?  We think so.  It was the only thing my husband and I thought that we could do to make a hard time for his daughter just a bit easier.  Has it done that?  Hard to tell.  My eternal optimist wants to believe it has and will continue to make things better, but the other half of me, the realist, isn’t so sure.  Adolescence is so hard for a young lady, even with two well adjusted adults parenting her.  That’s not exactly the case for my darling bonus child, but at least we are spatially closer to her now.  I hope she knows how much we just want her to be happy and healthy and well taken care of.  And our door always open.  She has that luxury now that we live in the same town as her.  Minutes from her mother’s house.   She says the word and she can come live with us immediately.

***

It would be so easy to give up on my fitness plans.  It would be so easy to slip into self-deprecating, woe is me behavior.  Everything is so unsure.  Everything feels so in between things here, like I keep waiting to wake up from a very vivid and strange dream.  Change is hard.  I try to not think too long term, just think about each day as it comes and that seems to help. Figuring out a new daily routine in a new house and town can make it so easy to let habits slip, but the right thing for me now is is keep my activity level up, even if it is the hardest thing I have done in a long time.

 

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Why(not).

March 20, 2014

I have been trying to post this for a few weeks.  It is totally disjointed and weird.  You have been warned.

Someone once said, “Know what? Bitches get stuff done”  (that would be the fabulous Tina Fey). This has become my mantra lately.  When it all boils down, being “nice” and “not stepping on anyone’s toes” hasn’t gotten me anywhere in life.  And really, this is my one life, and I’m tired of letting my lack of action due to “not wanting to bother anyone” stand in the way of things.  I can still be polite and a good person while expecting the same from others.  When that doesn’t happen, I’ll say something or do something to merit results.  And, most of the time, it works.  And if it doesn’t, at least I can move on knowing I said something or did something to try and accomplish what I know is right and just.  This is not a new concept, but something has clicked (or snapped is probably a better way to describe it) inside me and it is time for a change.

The world is full of assholes.  This is a fact.  Things are not always sunshine and rainbows.  Another fact.  But I am striving to live my life in a way that those negative people and rough times don’t matter nearly as much as they have in the past.  Because really, what’s the point of letting them when you are not even going to try and change things?

***

We packed up the place we have called home for almost 3 years over the past month.  I think I was a bit in denial about the move, because when the final day with the U-Haul in the driveway arrived, it was rough.  REALLY rough.

I found my groove with running while living there; the neighborhood is one of Dayton’s best suburbs for runners.  I changed jobs, hair styles, multiple pant and dress sizes and my stance on major life decisions all while living within its walls.  I became a better human.  I changed the way I live my life while there, and for that I am so thankful.

As I try to nestle into life within four new walls, I am reminded that it doesn’t matter where I live, as long as it is with my husband I am at home.   It also doesn’t matter where I am, I can run.  Our new place is less than a mile from a bike path that I have already up and down on four occasions.  I am a very adaptable person, I tend to dislike change when it isn’t exactly on my terms, but once I get over that fact and can see the positives, I’m back to normal.

I am trying to get back into a new running routine before the serious training begins in June….I am registered for the 2014 Air Force Half Marathon.  It just so happens to be on my 30th Birthday.  So that’s happening.  I know I can do it, and I know I will.  I also know the only thing that will make it the hardest thing I have ever done is myself….so I’m prepared for that as well.

I’m taking things a day at a time right now.  It’s strange being in a new town PLUS working from home in this new house PLUS a lot of family stuff…it is all a lot when you try and process it at once.  So I try and not do that.  Even though it is sort of my calling card to analyze and think about everything, at all times, from all angles.  That is where the running comes in.  It really does keep me centered and sane, in the mist of huge life changes.  That’s because no matter where I am or what I do, or what life throws at me, I can at least know I have made myself into a runner, and that no one can ever take that away from me.  It is something that is solely mine.

Next time you want to do something, but aren’t sure you can, or even if you should, maybe instead of asking yourself why, try asking yourself why not.

Cheers.